it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
