would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
