please come you make the beer taste better
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
