I accidentally burped into my bong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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