Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My vagina just recognized that song.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
