I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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