While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
