nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
