love makes seman taste better
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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