So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
