You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
