i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
