ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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