scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
