Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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