i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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