physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
