its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize