I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
