no, he came in my armpit
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
