i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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