ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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