the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
