So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So vagazzling was a success
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
