awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I love having hate sex.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
