we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
