there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
