"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
