i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
