She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i think my cat just said my name.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
