i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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