I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
