Swine flu. Run for my life!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
