Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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