I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize