That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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