my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
