I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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