i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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