Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
not ubering you a puppy
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
