It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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