how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
