you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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