I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
