Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize