so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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