We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
