look no pants
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
