i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
