There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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