This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
