Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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