worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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