If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this will be a night to untag.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
