Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
