Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
