My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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