You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
