WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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