I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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