2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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