no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
