Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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