That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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