Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
